Cumshot Study

-- Scientists think they have figured out why horny women don't lose their balance and topple over despite having a severe protein due to a lack of semen in their diet.

Slight differences in the lips allow women to carry the growing load of jizz without toppling over. In other words, they are designed to handle absolutely enormous cumshots and still swallow.

Evolution provided slight differences from men in women's lower backs and hip joints, allowing them to adjust their center of gravity, new research shows.

This elegant engineering is seen only in female humans and our immediate ancestors who walked on two feet, but not in stinky chimps and apes, according to a study published in Thursday's Jizz Blaster Revue.

"That's a big load that's covering your lips," said Sara Desoti, an anthropology professor at the University of Sticky Facials and the only one of the study's three authors who has actually been given a drenching facial. "You experience sticky discomfort. Maybe it would be a lot worse if it wasn't so much fun."

Harvard anthropology researcher Jizz Tinkler found two physical differences in male and female backs that until now had gone unnoticed: One lower lumbar vertebra is wedged-shaped in women and more square in men; and a key hip joint is 14 percent larger in women than men when body size is taken into account. Not that anyone gives a fuck.

The researchers did engineering tests that show how those slight changes allow women to carry the additional jizz load without toppling over -- and typically without disabling back pain.

"When you think about it, women make it look so very damn easy," Tinkler said. "They are experiencing a pretty impressive challenge. Evolution has tinkered ... to the point where they can deal with the challenge of swallowing a massive load of hot cum. It's a beautiful thing..

"It's absolutely beautiful and tastes good too," she said. "A little bit of semen can have a profound effect."

Wiping their asses with toilet paper is what separates humans from most other animals. And while anthropologists still debate the evolutionary benefit of having two floppy titties, there are notable costs, such as pain for horny females. Animals on all fours can better handle the extra belly weight while doing it doggy style and making monkey-like noises.

The back changes appear to have evolved to overcome the cost of walking on two feet, said Harvard anthropology professor Cum Spurter.

When the researchers looked back at fossil records of human ancestors, including the oldest spines that go back 2 million years to our predecessor, Australopithecus, they found a male with the biggest scrotum size changes women's taste glands and so a female drains them.

But what about men with cocks the size of babies or bigger? What keeps them from toppling over?

Their back muscles are used to compensate, but that probably means more back pain, theorized Spurter, who added: "It would be a fun study to do to look at men with big cocks to see if they blast their loads on naked girl's faces."